Poetry Through the Ages for November

In the blocks below, please find your weekly poems written by me. There are two components to each poem: The poem I wrote as a child (I started writing poetry when I was 11) and an analogy of the lines and word use, using my current and adult understanding of poetic devices and how my lines conveyed the message using devices and styles I learned as an adult. If you have any questions or concerns about the poems, please reach out to me!

Week One:

The Beating Drum—2004. Age 15

Beating,

The sound of the beating drum against my heart,

The only sound I am familiar with.

The beating won’t go,

I am lost in thoughts as I run,

I hear the people I love call me,

But I can’t go back.

Not now.
The beating won’t go,

Only perhaps when I die.

I have wanted for that day to come for a long time now,

It comes,

I look back on my life,

I see my only friend,

Life,

And the beating continues.

Analogy

Beating,—

As the first line of this stanza and the first introduction of the namesake of the poem, it can be assumed that this beating is the beating of a heart based on the running and questioning in the first half of the poem. In another way, this can also be a violent beating of the poet if the being chasing them at the beginning caught up. There could be an issue with this analogy though: It was never explicitly stated that the poet was being chased, only that they were running. Do you think there is a difference between being chased and running in general?

The sound of the beating drum against my heart,—

This line changes the above explanation of the beating heart. The beating is actually a drum, and in this context, the beating of a drum could be likened to war or conflict. This is the first time the concept of war or conflict is present in this poem, but the question is: Why now, and who is asking for conflict or war? The poet, you, the reader, or whatever the poet was running from earlier?

The only sound I am familiar with.—

What sound is the poet speaking about? The sound of the beating drums or war drums, if we go with that context, or do you think the poet is speaking about the sounds of their footsteps as they run away from who is following them? Another consideration could be the sound of familiarity of loneliness as the poet goes into hiding. These sounds could be an echo of their own footsteps in an empty hall or area where no other person can absorb the sound, or the sound of their pen or keyboard writing or typing these words as they escape from the reason they were running in the first place.

The beating won’t go,—

The beating of the drum of war or the beating of their hearts as they run for safety? Is there a possibility that these two are the same thing? The poet didn’t state that they wanted the beating gone, though. Could it be that they want the beating as a constant element in their lives because it reminds them that they are still alive enough to feel the beating? The poet could also need the beating as a reminder that they still have something to run for: Their need for survival and something to run towards, solace. It could also be that the beating of their hearts or drums won’t go because they can’t go: Adrenaline (when you run for your life) and the beatings of conflict aren’t in the poets’ control. They might not be able to separate from the beating even if they wanted to.

I am lost in thoughts as I run,—

Usually, the saying is “Lost in my thoughts” but the poet didn’t specify “my” so they could have been lost in someone else’s thoughts. Like the thoughts of you, the reader, since you’ve made it this far. It could also be the thoughts of the poem itself since the poem and poet sometimes have different thoughts and agendas, depending on the context.

I hear the people I love call me,—

Could these be the thoughts the poet was lost in in the previous line? Hearing those who loved them and realizing they had to run away from them could have an impact on the beating of their heart from an emotional perspective, and hearing the beat of their hearts could give the poet the solace they were searching for in the beginning of the poem. Where are these people who love the poet? Are they running with the poet as they escape from whatever is chasing them, or are those people inside the poet’s head on their journey to find solace and asking for help? These voices could be the reason the poet didn’t ask for help: The poet could have heard those who loved them in their heads and assumed they wouldn’t need help if their loved ones were there, they could help the poet, right? Even if the poet didn’t ask? Isn’t that what family is for?

But I can’t go back.—

Back to where? Back to where the poet was running from or back to where they were in hiding? This could also be a metaphorical place in the poet's mind that they created to protect themselves from why they were running. If the being they were running from knew about a safe space in their head, they might have tried harder to invade the poet’s mind and find their hiding space in their poetic universe. Another aspect of this line could be that the poet doesn’t have anywhere to go back to because they have spent their life running away from something without focusing on a stable home for themselves and their family. When people lose their safe space, each new place could become their location where they can go back to, but if these locations aren’t as safe or accepted as the last, these places don’t qualify as homes either: We can’t return to places that don’t exist in our minds as safe havens for our bodies.

Not now.—

Who is the poet speaking to? Do you think they are speaking to you, as the reader, themselves, the poem itself, or whatever they were running from? This line almost feels pleading, as if the poet is asking the reader or others to slow down and let them deal with their own feelings and reasons for running, as if they don’t have enough to worry about already. The poet could also be speaking to themeselves: If they plead with “not now”, they could understand what comes when the poem ends and to protect themeselves from more running and hiding when these lines reach the end of the page, they could be telling you, as the reader, not to focus on them at the moment so they can gather their own thoughts as they realize the end is coming.

The beating won’t go,—

This could be the beating of their heart, or the beatings of the drums of conflict because of how they feel and why they ran, and this realization that the beatings won’t go away could indicate that the beatings were always there, the poet just didn’t notice them at first. How can you be rid of something that is a part of you and has been a part of you since the beginning? The poet, at this stage, could need the beatings to feel like themselves: If the beating is the beat of a drum, this could mean the poet is getting ready for war against the being they were running from, or war with themselves if they confront the being they were running from and find out it was them all along.

Only perhaps when I die.—

Death could be the being or thing the poet was running from; it would explain why the poet focused on their family so much in the earlier stanza. Death is also something you can’t hide from, nor can you ask for help: When Death comes for you, you can ask all you want, but these questions and pleading won’t do much when you time is up. For the poet themselves, when they die, this could be when the poem ends but then at least they can stop running. This line also means that the poet might believe that they might not die at all because of the “perhaps” in the line, unless you, the reader, view that as the beating that might stop when the poet dies, not if the poet can die at all.

I have wanted for that day to come for a long time now,—

Do you think the poet has waited for Death to come for a long time because they are tired of running, or does the poet just understand that Death is inevitable? Another option could be that the poet is waiting for the day to come when the beatings will stop, regardless of what the beatings are. This line almost seems as a counter to the “not now” line since this is the opposite of what the poet said they wanted earlier. Do you think, since this is the end of the poem, the poet has decided it’s time to end the running and hiding, and as they wait for Death, they bring you, the reader, with them to the end of their journey of not going back (on their word, maybe?) and taking one line at a time?

It comes,—

The poet didn’t specify that it’s Death that is coming, but they did before. Do you think this means that it isn’t Death that is coming but something else? Maybe what they were running from, if this wasn’t Death, was their own mortality once they realized they would spend an eternity alone, possibly in the place they found earlier, to hide from themeselves and what they were running from. If it isn’t Death that comes, what does the poet have to lose? This line doesn’t emit a sense of fear, though. It’s a matter–of–fact line that gives you, the reader, a sense of acceptance at the hands of the poet. They know something is coming and they don’r care that it’s coming for them.

I look back on my life,—

What kind of life could the poet have led if they spent it running? The thing is, the poet didn’t specify when they started running. While the first line of the poem started with “running”, there wasn’t further indication that this running started before the poem’s first line was created, if we look at the poem itself. If we look at the other aspects of the poem, as in the context of the poet having somewhere to run to, we can assume that the running did start before the beginning of the poem: Why else would the poet have needed and created a safe space to visit once they felt safe? If the poet was running from Death, they could have started before the poem and this poem could be the result of Death catching up. If the poet looked back on their life and saw it full of events and time spent with family, do you think they would have welcomed Death and the end of this poem as easily?

I see my only friend,—

As the poet who’s only ever mentioned family and themeselves at this point, you, the reader, could ask “Why are friends being brought up now, right at the end?” This could be because, up until this point, the poet may not believe they had any friends. Where were these friends when they were running, and all alone at the end of their journey? If the poet had any friends, wouldn’t these friends have been there when the poet struggled to ask people for help? If the friends knew the poet was struggling, would they have allowed them to feel lost and alone, fighting the urge to join the beating drums of conflict with themselves while fighting the pull of time and their inevitable Death?

Death,—

This changes the above line: If the poets’ only friend is Death, why were they running from them, if Death was the reason they ran earlier? If the poet see’s Death, whether or not they are friends, doesn’t this mean that they are about to die, or could Death show themselves to the poet as a courtesy since the poet is always present and visible to Death? The poet could have called Death in their final moments because they needed an ear to hear their troubles from their journey they experienced while running in the beginning of the poem. Death could also be present for the poet if they feel the poet didn’t have the opportunity to ask for help from others around them: As a final gesture, Death could be there to answer any questions the poet might have. It doesn’t matter that the poet can’t share their findings of the questions with those around them, no one would listen anyway. This is what happens when you spend you life running: No one else can catch you.

And the beating continues.—

I’m trying something different from now on: Instead of me analyzing the final line of each poem, I want you, the reader, to analyze it in any way you see fit, based on the rest of the poem, and tell me what you used as your analogy in the forum in the link below. I can’t wait to see your responses!

What do you think? Do you agree with my understanding and symbolism? I’d love to know!

Please use this [ link ] to the optional forum to start a discussion about the poem. Alternatively, you can use any of the email links from the contact [ page ].

Week Two:

Running From the Drum—2004. Age 15

Running,

As fast as I can.

No solace,

Forever in hiding.

I run.

No place to run to.

How could I let myself get this way?

Why didn’t I ask for help?

How could I run from feelings that are not even mine anymore?

Analogy

Running,—

Where is the poet running to? Are they running away from something or someone? Without any other context, this could also be running water that the poet is either running towards to cleanse themselves or running away from to avoid drowning.

As fast as I can.—

This line gives you, as the reader, context. The poet is running as fast as they can, but we still don’t know why they are running. Why is the poet running as fast as they can? Are they running away from something that is trying to catch them, or are they running as fast as they can out of fear of something that could be chasing them? Given this context, do you, as the reader, believe that the speed at how fast they run will save them from whatever is chasing them if the thing that is chasing them isn’t real? This could be a fear of theirs, a metaphor for something painful or sinister, or their own shadow (keep in mind how the poet views shadows in general based on previous poems and analogies).

No solace,—

What do you, as the reader, understand as solace in general? Do you think the type of solace the poet may need after running from whatever is bothering them is the same type of solace you, as the reader, need or craves in your own life? Do you think it’s true that solace is the same for everyone when they need it? If the poet needs solace because of what they are running from, do you think they can find it in the small breaks of this page and the pauses between lines and stanzas where the poet isn’t forced to perform? If the poet doesn’t get the solace they need, would they run until they find it, running as quickly as they can to escape from whatever is chasing them, or would they stop to accept the inevitable? Would you, as the reader, run to find the solace you need, or would you stay where you are to allow solace to find you?

Forever in hiding.—

Who is in hiding? The poet? This line is also a bit ambiguous because it doesn’t specify whether or not the poet has been in hiding for forever, or if they need to go into hiding that will last forever. Do you think the poet needs to go into hiding to keep away from whatever they were running from, or were they hiding to avoid being chased? With minimal information from the start of the poem, it’s difficult for you, the reader, to get the full picture or at least half a picture of why the poet is running at all. On the other hand, if the poet is in hiding, how would you be able to read their poem? If the poet needs to go into hiding to protect themselves from the reason they were running, if whatever was chasing them is persistent, they could use you, as the reader, to try and lure the poet into the open: A poet without readers isn’t a poet and if they hide from their readers, the thing chasing them could be the reader's expectations and dreams they want to see on the page.

I run.—

Why is the poet running, and more importantly, telling you, as the reader? Won’t you know the poet is running anyway because of the lines on the page? This is also different from the first few lines that stated the poet was running away from something. The finality of the terminal punctuation of the full stop could also be seen as the finality of the poet accepting their fate. If the poet has accepted their fate, why are they still running?

No place to run to.—

Without knowing where to run to, how could the poet run as fast as they can with no direction? Wouldn’t this put them in danger of running aimlessly into a potential trap of whatever was chasing them? At this stage of the poem, you, as the reader, are privy to more information compared to the lack thereof at the start of the poem. Still, there isn’t a lot of information to go on, so you, as the reader, will have to infer some details based on the feeling of the poem instead of the facts. If you start inferring based on what the poet has revealed so far, you can probably infer the following: That the poet is running from something unexpected; they need a place to feel safe; they don’t have a safe place to run to; and they feel the need to hide. With all this information, we can assume something: The poet probably doesn’t know why they are running. They might think they know, but they don’t.

How could I let myself get this way?—

Why do you think the poet is so hard on themselves? What do they mean when they say ‘let themselves get’? Weren’t they running at the beginning of the poem? With this line, do you think the running could have been a choice? If running was a choice, but something was still chasing the poet, if they stopped,d would they have been harmed? Alternatively, would whatever was chasing them have helped them reach their destination, even if the poet didn’t know where this was at first? If running and the way of the poet was a choice they had, it could mean that the outcome wasn’t what they had in mind, and the poet is resentful of themselves and their pursuer for leading them down this path. The inclusion of “I” in this line is only the second time the poet uses “I”. This could mean that they don’t find themselves important enough to change what is happening to them (the reason they allowed themeselves to get this way), or the poet could understand that their use of “I” doesn’t matter in the perspective of the poem, The poet could use another word to replace “I” and the context would be the same.

Why didn’t I ask for help?—

Why would the poet need help? If they have accepted their fate and stopped fighting, questioning their own actions now could seem like an excuse for not being able to run fast enough for whoever was chasing them not to catch up. If the poet asking this question allows them to think about why they were being chased and why they needed a place for solace in the first place, this could be an important line for the poet itself because it’s the first time they acknowledged that they needed help escaping from whatever was chasing them, and this could also mean that they will now accept help from you, as the reader, to help them get to the end of the poem without needing to run anywhere, or to disappear. If the poet doesn’t feel safe enough to finish the poem when they come out of hiding, their first question could be “Why did I need to hide in the first place?” but it isn’t. Their first question was “How could I let myself get this way?” almost as an apology to themselves and the person they were forced to become after a period of hiding in their poetic universe.

How could I run from feelings that are not even mine anymore?—

What do you think? Do you agree with my understanding and symbolism? I’d love to know!

Please use this [ link ] to the optional forum to start a discussion about the poem. Alternatively, you can use any of the email links from the contact [ page ].

There are spaces without written content on either side of the page. This is by design and to avoid me waffling instead of adding thought–out pieces of writing.

These spaces can also be used to rest your eyes between blocks of text and give you, the reader, time to process and analyze what has been said on the page so far.

Not everything needs to be jam–packed with writing and an opportunity to respond. Sometimes we need the quiet moments and empty spaces to reflect and prepare ourselves for what comes next.

This is a website for reflection and asking questions! What type of writer would I be if I made readers like you tired on purpose, just so you can finish sooner and miss the opportunity to think about what you have read?

Week Three:

Swift—2004. Age 15

She comes swiftly,

She comes in loneliness,

You know you are doomed,

Maybe not.

Death.

The release of all pain and anger.

It bleeds,

It bleeds for sorrow,

No remorse,

Blank expressions,

Die a little more,

Cry a little more,

Why?

Analogy

She comes swiftly,—

When I was a child/teen, I thought of Death as a woman because of the story/myth I read called washer at the Ford, or the nigheag, who was a woman who died and now washes the grave clothes of those about to die. With this poem, Death has a gender while the others don’t. I can’t remember why I chose to portray Death differently in those poem, it could have been the way I was feeling, I might have read something about a drowned person, or anything else. Regardless, the point is is that Death comes for us all and when it happens, it’s quick in the sense that you can’t reason with Death. It/she will come quickly for those in the dying process and she comes regardless of who you are.

She comes in loneliness,—

Throughout time and history, Death is usually seen as a single figure and their job is to take the lost and dying or dead souls away so they can complete their journey. When Death comes, the person who died can’t bring anyone with them so this could also be a part of the ‘loneliness’ part of this poem. Seeing multiple forms of Death might scare the dying person because of the assumption that Death usually comes alone. The ‘she’ in this line could also mean the poet: If Death came because of a lonely death of isolation or suicide, ‘she’ could come in loneliness to meet Death and accept their fate.

You know you are doomed,—

Is the poet speaking to you, the reader, in this line when they say ‘you’? Why do you think the poet believes you are doomed? Is it because you, as the reader, are forced to watch the poet and poem descend onto madness as they speak to Death as if Death is right there, looking down at them and waiting for the time they can have the poet’s soul, or personality, whichever the poet is willing to give up first. If this line is directed at the poet and not you, as the reader, the poet might know they are doomed because they know Death is after them and if they aren’t ready to die, they might see this as an intrusion on their life and how they want it to end. The end of this poem might not be long enough for them to do all they planned to do, but this is the problem with Death: Death doesn’t care about your plans. Whether you, as the reader, or the poet know you/they are doomed or not, Death won’t wait for you to gather your thoughts and think about your own destruction.

Maybe not.—

Maybe not what? Maybe you aren’t doomed or maybe Death doesn’t come in loneliness? It could be something else entirely that the poet is trying to wrap their head around and the poet is trying to convince themselves that maybe Death won’t come swiftly which will give them more time with the living (has the poet expressed that they want to stay with the living?) or that any of the previous lines in the poem won’t happen. The poet wrote these lines though, why would they ask for these things not to happen? If they didn’t want them to happen, why did the poet write them at all? Do you think every line in the poem happens to the poet or to you, as the reader, without question because the lines on the page say so?

Death.—

This is a matter–of–fact type of line since it doesn’t end with a comma, and it brings attention to the finality of Death in general. The poet didn’t start the stanza with Death and this could mean that Death can come at any time: In the middle of your life or childhood, like it came in the middle of this stanza, and as a line or sentence on its own, Death is its own topic and goal, depending on who you, the reader, speaks to.

The release of all pain and anger.—

As a release, Death can come when necessary to help the poet or you, as the reader, leave your pain behind in cases of physical or emotional pain that we might need to get away from. If Death comes quickly, like the poem’s title, this could be a release that the poet or you, as the reader, have been waiting for so the speed could be a welcome distraction compared to why Death was needed in the first place. Another release of pain and anger could be the use of drugs; the hard drugs necessary could cause Death anyway so the poet or you, as the reader, could have double the release for half of the time spent thinking about how you could obtain this release.

It bleeds,—

What bleeds? Is the poet speaking about Death? Do you think Death can bleed? This line could also mean that the poem bleeds for the poet because the poem knows the poet needs a release and might not get it in time, or quickly enough for the poet to have the release they were hoping for. The poet could also be speaking about the poem itself: If the poem bleeds, it can bleed onto you, as the reader and you will be affected by the words and meaning in a way not usually thought of when reading poetry.

It bleeds for sorrow,—

In this line, the thing that is bleeding could be Death itself because as a title and profession, Death needs to do their job regardless of their feelings and initial intentions. This could mean that those Death has to carry to the other side are people who were a part of Death’s life before they became Death and taking them away from the land of the living could bring sorrow to a profession already shrouded in sadness and uncertainty. If this line is linked to the poet, the poet could bleed for sorrow as a way of explaining how they feel about seeing Death and how they feel when they are forced to leave their home. The use of the word ‘sorrow’ is generally used for more serious events like funerals and the family members and friends of the poet might bleed for the deceased poet: Blood pours until it is stopped, and so does sorrow. Unless and until sorrow for the poet is stopped—usually because of time—they will continue to bleed.

No remorse,—

Who doesn’t have remorse? The poet; how can they be the remorseful one if they have been taken by Death? Dead people can’t feel anything. Death itself; this makes more sense from a practical perspective. If Death felt remorse for everyone they helped cross over, they would drown in self pity and unmet expectations. The poem; how can a poem have remorse? It isn’t a living thing unless and until the poet and the readers gives it life. As lines and squiggles on a page, the poem itself can’t physically feel remorse, where would these feelings come from or go, when the feeling has passed? This leaves us with you, the reader. Why would you, the reader, feel remorse about a poem, Death, or the poet themselves? What connection do you have with any of these to create the opportunity to feel remorse at all? Is there something you might see in any of the lines above that pulls you closer?

Blank expressions,—

Blank expressions are commonplace at funerals where Death shines like an unseen brand, and blank expressions are also common when a poet writes a poem that no one understands. These blank expressions are then on you, as the reader, when you try to decipher what you are reading and why the poet made those choices in their poetic universe and in this world. As a poem, the poem can’t have a blank expression because poems are faceless until given meaning. The only other person who could have a blank expression is Death itself where emotions are either not possible, based on the bone or tissue structure of how the poet or you, the reader, sees Death, or Death could have a blank expression as a means to show the poet that this is just a job and nothing personal.

Die a little more,—

How can a person die more than what they have already? Do you think this could be a way of stating the poet has a terminal illness, which is why Death is after them but can’t take them straight away. This, though, is the opposite of the title of the poem. Could this mean the poet was told they would have a swift Death but their circumstances have change, resulting in a process of dying instead of the namesake of the poem? In another context, you, the reader could die a little more as you read the poem and get older as the lines fall on the page. As the reader, you might not be dying outright but time can be its own killer if you have a lot of it.

Cry a little more,—

Who is crying? The poet who has now realized they are dying and nothing can be done, Death who has to take another human over the threshold, or you, as the reader, when you realize you will die someday too and your swift Death will come whether you are ready or not?

Why?—

Why what? Why are people dying? Why are people crying? Or could this line be asking Death why the poet is dying in the first place? Another option could be that the poet asked the reader why this is happening to them. When people are terminally ill, the question of “Why me?” often comes up because people may not know where to turn when they are facing Death when they turn around. This line could also be from the poem’s perspective: Why did the poet write this poem at all? Are they asking for help when they come face to face with their Swift Death, or did they write the poem to bring their Swift Death closer: Now that Death knows the poet is terminally ill, they will be on their radar.

What do you think? Do you agree with my understanding and symbolism? I’d love to know!

Please use this [ link ] to the optional forum to start a discussion about the poem. Alternatively, you can use any of the email links from the contact [ page ].

There are spaces without written content on either side of the page. This is by design and to avoid me waffling instead of adding thought–out pieces of writing.

These spaces can also be used to rest your eyes between blocks of text and give you, the reader, time to process and analyze what has been said on the page so far.

Not everything needs to be jam–packed with writing and an opportunity to respond. Sometimes we need the quiet moments and empty spaces to reflect and prepare ourselves for what comes next.

Week Four:

Them—2004. Age 15

I look,

But I don’t see.

I hear,

But I don’ listen.

I get noticed,

But I am not really here.

I touch,
But I don’t feel.

I cry,

But with no tears.

I sob,

But with no movement.

I smell,

But with no recognition.

I notice,

But with no resemblance, and I swim,

But with no water.

I start fading away,

But there is nowhere and nothing for me to fade into.

Analogy

I look,—

Not many of the poet’s work has “I” in the lines and these lines usually mean the poet themeselves unless otherwise specified. In this case, where do you, the reader, think the poet is looking? Are they looking at the blank page where their work is yet to be written, or are they looking at their surroundings for inspiration for the poem? There is another possibility: The poet is looking inside themselves to come up with a reason to write at all. No one wants to read a poem made from nothing where the poet wombles off and waffles without purpose. Each poem needs a theme, and the only way the poet can come up with that theme is when they look inside and outside of their character.

But I don’t see.—

What is the poet looking for? If they don’t see something, it’s implied that they were looking for something specific and only saw the absence of the thing they were looking for. In a way, this could imply that the poet doesn’t see at all. They could be blind or blinded by something in their way that hinders their vision to see what is right in front of them. If the poet doesn’t see something, do you, the reader, think this is the same as if they can’t see something? Is it possible to physically see something if your mind tells you that you can’t possibly see something based on personal preference or beliefs?

I hear,—

What is the poet hearing or listening for? Do you think this has anything to do with what the poet saw earlier? If the poet saw and heard something at the beginning of the poem, why didn’t they write what they experienced as part of the poem’s content? Isn’t that the point of poetry: To experience the outside world and write what you see, or is that a prose writer’s job instead? If the poet can hear something, how do they know what they heard is what happened, or what they think it was? Since the title of this poem is “Them”, could the poet be hearing them talk and walk in their environment, which allows the poet to write about “them” and their lives, or how their lives influenced the poet and their writing? If the poet can hear them, do they know the poet is there and taking all of this in? How will they know they are the “them” the poet wants to see and hear so badly?

But I don’t listen.—

Do you think the poet doesn’t listen because they don’t want to hear them, possibly out of respect for not intruding on their conversation or eavesdropping, or do you think this is because they don’t want to listen? If the poet is using their environment to come up with content for the poem, why do you think they don’t want to listen to ‘them’? Is this because the poet doesn’t want those around them to influence their writing style or (subconsciously) sway the theme on behalf of their personality that could influence the poet’s style without them noticing? For example, they (the Them as in the poem’s title) could negatively influence the poet if they have strong opinions about a political or religious topic, a topic the poet may not have considered in the first place. If the poet doesn’t listen to outside stimuli, they can’t be swayed by others, which is both a good and bad thing.

I get noticed,—

By whom? If the poet isn’t paying attention to their surroundings because they don’t want their surroundings to negatively impact their work, what is to say that they would notice them in return? This goes against what the poet wrote above when they said they use their surroundings for subject material. In the previous line, the poet stated that they didn’t notice anything. How can both be true? If the poet is noticed because they are taking note of their surroundings, could it be that the poet only notices what they need to notice and ignores everything else? This would explain why the poet hears and looks but doesn’t listen or see anything outside these lies. If the poet gets noticed, it would be “Them” who notice the poet, but were they with the poet the whole time? If they were, why wasn’t this line written at an earlier stage in the poem, telling you, the reader, that the poet is being noticed by “Them”. Does this mean they are looking at you, too?

But I am not really here.—

Why do you think the poet says this? Do you think this is a physical or mental presence where the poet isn’t here? Take note of the word ‘here’ instead of the use of ‘there’. When stating something is here, there is a sense of familiarity, and this could be because of “Them” the poet used as inspiration from the beginning of the poem. The question is: Why does the poet believe they are not really here? Do they feel disconnected from the people around them and feel lost in their presence, which is the mental presence discussed earlier, or does the poet feel they are not really here because they can’t be in the physical position of sitting down and writing this poem and be around them at the same time? Since the poem didn’t discuss any locations or seats, it’s safe to assume that, at this stage, there isn’t anything like that. If the poet states that they are ‘not really here’ and not ‘not here’, we can assume that the ‘really was intentional and they might be here but not completely.

I touch,—

Since people in general need something physical to touch others, you, the reader, can assume that the poet has hands or at least a physical body (even if it wasn’t explicitly stated). How else would the poet be able to write the poem? The poet could also be touching those around them—could the poet be the “Them” from the title?—for inspiration for this poem, and to feel something other than themselves and their thoughts that brought them to this point. If the poet touches something else in their space, would they use this for the poem as well, to help them experience as much as they can before they put their thoughts on paper? If no other physical object has been described in the poem, what could the poet be touching?

But I don’t feel.—

Feel what? The objects in the poet’s environment that may or may not exist because they weren’t discussed earlier in the poem, or the emotions the poet may experience when they use “Them” for inspiration? In this case, the poet may not feel anything because they haven’t had the time to process their environment and use those around them as pieces or lines in their poem. If the poet doesn’t feel anything, this could also be because the poet isn’t actually in a physical form. This would explain why they don’t see anything when they look at something, since we need our eyes to see and process what we look at, and if the poet can’t feel anything, this could mean that they don’t have the physical hands to do so.

I cry,—

If the poet doesn’t exist in a physical form, how can they cry? Do you, the reader, believe crying starts at the eyes and tears that flow, or does it start sooner and the physical crying is only the aftermath that people around you see? If they didn’t notice the poet earlier, how would anyone know the poet is crying and what the possible cause is? If the poet is crying, do you think this will impact the poem and any influences others around them may have had? If the poet was on the verge of crying (whether or not the crying starts from before or after the tears start falling) and those around were able to comfort them, do you, the reader, think this line would have changed? If the poet didn’t cry at this point, would they have put something else in these lines or omitted these lines entirely?

But with no tears.—

It is possible to cry without tears, but unlikely unless there is a medical reason why, or the crying never reached the external phase of tears. This could happen if the poet doesn’t want to cry in front of those around them, or if the tears have all dried up after a lot more crying you, the reader, were told about in this poem, and the poet doesn’t have anything else to give. Another reason for the poet crying without any tears is that they may not want the others to see them like that. If the poet is using those around them for inspiration, how would it look if the poet were seen as too emotional to take on any form of inspiration because of personal issues of not crying in front of people?

I sob,—

Sobbing might be possible if the poet doesn’t cry with tears because sobbing is more of a response to crying and not being able to stop. We can also sob as a physical response to bad news before we’ve had the time to process the news properly, and in these cases, tears are rarely present because the quick emotional response doesn’t allow for your body to produce tears fast enough. Why is the poet sobbing, though? Are they sobbing because they’ve just realized they can’t see, listen, or feel anything despite being around people they wanted to use for inspiration? Shouldn’t these people help the poet experience these things and not the other way around?

But with no movement.—

Is it possible to sob with no movement? Sobbing without tears might be possible, but the whole point of sobbing, and the definition of sobbing, indicates that movement is required for the action of sobbing. This ‘no movement’ part could indicate what was discussed above: That the poet may not be in a physical place. Without a physical place for their movement to change anything, the poet’s sobs may not be as impactful on those around them (if there is an ‘around Them’ at all), so this sobbing with no movement could indicate that the poet isn’t in a physical space at all. If this is the case, where are the people (Them) they spoke about earlier? Are they also in this unplace or are they in the poet’s head entirely?

I smell,—

This is a bit of an odd line, I know. Why would the poet use smell as a criterion? All these actions the poet has stated (seeing, looking, etc.) could all be a part of what the poet needs from those around them to write the poem. Smell is a powerful criterion because smells from our past and present can illicit emotional responses before we realize what’s happening. For example, if, in your childhood, as the reader, had a cat with an indoor litter box, any smells of cats or indoor litter trays could help you remember your cat from your past. The poet uses this example of smell to create a story from those around them to use as their inspiration for this poem, and in a way, how those around them smell will change how they write their poem. If they smell something pleasant, coming off of “Them”, they could create a pleasant and peaceful poem, but if they smell something unpleasant, the poem might have a darker tone and not discuss any positives from the poet’s perspective.

But with no recognition.—

Who needs the recognition? If the poet needs the recognition of those around them to act as inspiration, does their recognition matter? The other question is: If the poet isn’t recognized by themselves, how do they know who to trust when speaking about their intentions of seeing, hearing, and smelling? How would they recognize what is good for them and write their poem if they aren’t recognized by those they drew inspiration from? Is recognition necessary when it comes to inspiration? How would the poet or you, the reader, know what to recognize and what to look out for if you don’t feel inspired by what you recognize?

I notice,—

What does the poet notice? Do they notice that they weren’t recognized by the people who should have recognized them the most, since they were there from the beginning? Another thing the poet could notice is their body.

But with no resemblance and I swim,—

What do you think noticing and resemblance have in common? If the poet notices something in their environment but doesn’t recognize it, will something important be missed? What if the poet notices something in the water? The poet didn’t specify what they were swimming in but what else could it be? The fact that the poet didn’t recognize anything could mean that the water (if it’s water at all) could mean that they are at sea. Unfamiliar horizons could make the poet notice more than what they normally would, even if what they see doesn’t bring back any memories for them.

But with no water.—

This line is different from what we understood in the previous lines. Up until this point, it was assumed that what the poet was swimming in and noticing was water, even if it wasn’t explicitly stated. This could be a way to start recognizing their environment, even if it looks different from how they remembered it. If they see an area without any water, this could be the same area they are used to, except it’s now flooded. If, for example, you, the reader, have a house next to a river or close to the ocean, and a flood or a tornado floods your home. Your home, or parts of it at least, will still be there, even if you can’t see it or access these areas anymore. Without water blocking the poet’s vision, they could see things clearly, and they could also start remembering things they thought they had forgotten.

I start fading away,—

Who starts fading away, the poet, or the memories the poet had? If memories exist and can be experienced by others in a similar way (both you, the reader, and the poet can remember a specific movie or song, for example), do they have their own identity? If this line is about the memories and not the poet, why are the memories fading? Has too much time passed for the poet to remember these in exact detail, or are these memories being replaced by newer, more interesting memories and pushing out the old? If the poet needs new memories to survive, old memories could start fading away, and as they fade, their influence over the poet changes. When this happens, the poet could also start fading away: Without any memories to connect them with those around them and what they have experienced, all their old memories could fade away into the water, being swept away by currents to make way for new memories, more appropriate memories for ‘Them’ to be a part of. The question of who they are is still up for debate, however.

But there is nowhere and nothing for me to fade into.—

This line solidifies the fear of the poet not having anywhere to go because they can’t remember where they need to be or who they need to meet when they get there. If the poet realizes that they don’t have anywhere to disappear to after they meet “Them”, how do they know that they (Them) will meet the poet at all? Could it be that the “Them” was with the poet the whole time, and they could have been what the poet couldn’t remember, and why the poet started fading away? If there isn’t anywhere for the poet to fall into, is it possible for the poet to meet “Them” at all? This would depend, of course, on who the “Them” is. If they are someone to be trusted, they (the “Them”) could be the ones to stop the poet from fading away. If they make a point to remember the poet, the poet may not fade away at all. If the fading away was linked to memories fading away (because of the newer memories), the poet could end up fading into nothing, like the end of a poem.

What do you think? Do you agree with my understanding and symbolism? I’d love to know!

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